Thursday, July 25, 2013

I wish everyone would just get over Marilyn Monroe.

 

People idolize people. It’s stupid, but it’s what happens. And in my opinion, one of the most OVERRATED people of all time…is Marilyn Monroe.

Yes, I have said it, I have blasphemed the name of the incredible Monroe. Sue me.

First off, let us take a little look at her actual size. So many people say she’s inspiring to just look how they look and all that jazz. And Marilyn was a big woman, so I can be too, woop-diddly-dee! I’m all for having a good body image (see this post), but I hate myths. And I hate when people just believe anything they read on the internet.

 kip1

“Well it was on the internet, so it has to be true.”

But really.

I looked up her measurements from her dressmaker. The one’s from the studio were about an inch larger on everything…so keep that in mind, I’m going with skinny Marilyn, but the bigger Marilyn wasn’t much larger..

Bust: 36in

Waist: 22in

Hips: 36in.

Weight:118lbs

Okay, so going by Banana Republic’s sizing chart, today she would be size 8 top. And because she was curvy, it’s a little more difficult to tell pant size, she would wear somewhere from a 00 to a 2. Her dress size is also a bit tricky because of the curves, but it looks to me like either a 6 or an 8.

Wait.

You mean…not a 16?

YOU’RE WRONG I KNOW SHE WAS OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE I KNOW THESE THINGS AND INTERNET AND STUFF AND I LOVE MARILYN AND SHE INSPIRES ME AND AND AND

hey, your beef is with her dressmaker’s measurements, not me. Another thing to consider is the way sizes change, she may have been a 10 or whatever, but that doesn’t mean a whole lot in terms of our sizes today. And that quote about you being beautiful because you’re not a size 0, and society is ugly? Well, someone just made that up. Seriously. There was no such thing as a size 0 during Marilyn’s life. So if everyone could please quit quoting that, that’d be great.

I have a wedding dress from the 1970s (don’t ask), and it’s a size 8. I usually wear something from size 0 to size 2.

IMG_8994

I make look like a fabulous 70s princess, but I can’t breathe.

That dress is hard to put on. The zipper is tight as all get out. It took my mom and my sister pulling it to get it up. The dress hasn’t been altered. It’s a size 8. Or at least it was in 1970ish. So she may have been a size 16, in the 1960s. But it’s not the same as todays sizes.

BUT WHYYY do all her clothes look like they’re going to pop off if she was so small?

Well, Marilyn, being the classy woman she was, was often sewn into her dresses because they were so tight. Well, shoot.

Which brings me to this misattributed quote:

wrong

No. No. No. First of all, if Marilyn did say this, she needed to take her own advice.

Dress maker Edith Head said this. Here she is with a couple of Oscars:

edithhead

I love how she’s just like, “yeah, these are my Oscars, got a problem?”

She worked with Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn a bit. So tell me, who dressed more lady-ish: Marilyn, Audrey, or Grace? Hm. And I’m just now realizing her striking resemblance to Edna Mode. Oh, Disney Pixar, you sneaky little people.

But now that we’ve got that out of the way…here are some other not-so-outstanding things about Marilyn Monroe.

She quit school in 10th grade. And I know things happen, and circumstances are whatever, but that’s a fact. She quit to be married to a man whom she was married to for 4 years.

In 1950, she had surgery to “fix” her nose and chin. How’s that for true beauty and accepting yourself?

She was married 3 times. Her longest marriage lasted 5 years.

And probably the most overlooked one of all time: She had an affair with the president. The president. And with others. But definitely with the president. What a smart move. Like, if that doesn’t prevent people from idolizing her, I don’t know what would. And I know, I know, the president was the married one, and he was wrong too. You’re dang right JFK was wrong, but hey, I can only rant about one person at a time.

And I understand there are broken people, and I understand redemption, but there is no Marilyn recovery story. She lived that lifestyle until she died. And it’s sad as anything. I don’t hate the person who was Monroe, I hate the way she is idolized. I hate that people think her life is something to look up to. I hate that people use her broken, messed-up, lost life to justify their actions.

She was sad person. There’s heavy evidence that she was abused as a child. She was passed around from person to person as a kid. I believe she was looking for what a lot of people search for: love.

And she got it, in one sense of the word.

But I hope that no one else has to live through what Marilyn lived through. And I hope no one wants to live that life.

And you know, I don’t think her life is really something you’d want to repeat. She’s no role model.

“No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they’re pretty, even if they aren’t.” –Marilyn Monroe.

 

Source was mostly this: http://www.marilynmonroepages.com/facts/ (kind of ironic, since it’s like a fan page..) Anything I couldn’t find there was probably from Wikipedia.

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