Wednesday, February 27, 2013

So I like to complain..

 

So a couple of months ago I wrote this post about complaining, and I mentioned the idea of a “complaining closest” with pictures of real suffering, that when you complain, you have to write it on the wall of the closet.

Well.

I don’t have a closet in my room. So I couldn’t exactly do that.

But today I finally got around to making a more portable complaining closet. err. poster.

I ended up taping all of the pictures to a hallmark bag I cut up…because it was in my room…and I mean…it worked.

I used pictures of people or places I had been to or met, just to make it more personal. Like, “oh hey, Bekah, remember that?”

 

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You know, complaining about the slow internet I dealt with while sipping a $5 drink looks pretty pathetic when it’s written above a girl who had a baby at 14 and lives in a house smaller than my room, with 6 other people.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Starbucks, Tacos, Tebow

 

Starbucks. Where Mac users congregate, but do not speak to each other. Although I am not the owner of a Mac, I do love some Starbucks. It’s where I do all of my best people watching.

One day I was sitting in there, and I had headphones in, but I could still semi-hear these two women talking about the one woman’s horrible relationship she was in. It was starting to get good, so I discreetly slipped out the earbuds to take a listen. It was pretty long and intense, and this woman had some strong feelings about this dirtbag she was dating, but the problems all boiled down to this, “Well, NO, she’d just rather sit and watch that BOY throw a fit on the TACO BELL FLOOR because of some STUPID advertisement on the cup at El Puerto’s. I just I’m over it, done with it.”

And that my friend leads me to this undeniable truth: Mexican food is the root of all heartache.

But that wasn’t the original point of this post. (albeit a good one)

Yesterday I decided to go to Starbucks to study. So I walk in order a venti vanilla latte, whip out my (while hoping the herd of apple users doesn’t attack me) Toshiba laptop, and open up my course.

But you know, I’m kind of distractible. So after rolling my eyes over things on facebook for a few minutes I actually start working. And I worked for probably a solid 20 minutes without even opening another tab, which might be a record for me, because 3 days ago, I was attempting to learn about something mathy and  I ended up watching a video of a baby elephant stuck in a pool, and then a baby elephant sneezing, which somehow led me to an elephant giving birth, which let me tell you, is a disgusting thing to watch. I don’t even know why I watched that, there was so much blood and then she was kicking the baby to make it breathe, and well, you get the point, it was awful.

BUT ANYWAY, these two women at the table next to mine started talking about the “Tebow Bill” (which I think is an awful name for that, but whatever, no one asked me what to call it) that if passed, would have allowed homeschoolers to play for public schools’ sports teams. I thought it was an okay idea I guess, like homeschoolers still pay taxes for schools so why shouldn’t they be able to participate in the sports? I don’t know, I mean it doesn’t really affect me, being one of the least athletic people ever, but….

But these women were talking about it, and the one woman went on to state how it was ridiculous because then the homeschoolers might actually make the team (uhh…thank you, captain obvious). Then she went on to describe how TERRIBLE Waynesboro High School’s football team is, like “it’s just awful.” She came back to her original point, explaining that if the bill had passed then homeschooled kids probably would have beaten out most of the kids from Waynesboro, and that just wasn’t fair, because just because they were bad doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get to play. They should be able to play even if they are terrible.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Land of opportunities so equal, that they are unequal.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Tell me I’m pretty, I’m begging you.

 

If you’ve ever been on anywhere on the internet ever for more than 3 minutes, I’m sure you’ve seen this.

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“gettin ready for bed ughhh….lookin terible 2night lol”

Ah yes. The poorly photoshopped “bad” picture, it’s one of my favorites. And with a caption like that a series of comments are sure to follow.

Random friend:“whatever. yu look gorgos, babe”

OP: “ug. no I dont quit lieng, you’re the most gorgess one girl.”

Random friend 2: “ommmg. this is so pretty I wish I was pretty and not ugly like you. give me some of dat pretty”

Relative over 60: “one time I met garth brooks in the walmart parking lot and he said he had to leave because he was going to bed. you must have a lot in common with garth.”

Random friend 3: “dang girl. you lookin fineeeee. why u tkaenig all the good looks? share some once in a while.”

OP: “oh guys, really this is looking bad, lol but whatever yu say I gues.”

A girl posts a bad picture of herself doing something mundane, such as getting ready for bed, comments about how ugly she is and boom—flocks of people are there to tell her she is beautiful. Oh, I bet she had NO IDEA that would happen. She wasn’t fishing for compliments or anything. She just likes to post pictures of herself which she thinks are awful, and then comment on how awful they are, just for fun.

WHY DO GIRLS DO THIS?

Is it because we feel like we need to be validated by some random person?? And why does everyone fall for the bait? If someone is announcing how hideous they look, 99.9% (that’s a scientific statistic) they just want compliments. And EVERYONE GIVES THEM COMPLIMENTS. Like seriously? Why?

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all girls are created prettier than all other girls."

I have a dream that one day on the blue pages of facebooks, the attention seekers and the false compliment givers will be able to sit down together at the table of sisterhood.

 

Let’s imagine if the internet suddenly went ‘poof’ and was gone forever. The world  would be kind of scary for all of our attention seekers. Imagine going to Kroger, okay, and you’re just going through the self check-out because you don’t want to have to speak to anyone, and then all of a sudden out of nowhere, a head pops over the wall. It’s a girl, in full hair and makeup, wearing a prom dress. “UUUGH I LOOK SO UGLY! TELL ME I AM PRETTY! I AM UGLY, NO, I AM PRETTY! TELL ME!”

um. what. no, you get a punch in the forehead. It’s kind of ridiculous to put that way, but that’s kind of how I picture it every time someone is fishing for compliments online.

And what happens if you are no longer able to get people to fall for it? Imagine if no one ever commented on your pictures and told you that you were pretty, ever again. Would you be okay with that?

Because here’s the thing, if your happiness and sense of self worth comes from people’s compliments, there’s something wrong here. You’re more than what people say about you. Or at least, you should be.

Okay and another thing that bothers me: Why on earth do girls call eachother baby, babe, lover, honey, etc like ALL THE TIME. Stop doing that. It creeps me out.

ps:

here is what normal people look like “getting ready for bed”

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throw in a girl with a toothbrush, and another one on facebook, and basically you have every sleepover, ever.

Monday, February 11, 2013

How to look good in pictures. A tutorial.

 

So you know how everyone is always on facebook and instagram and whatever posting pictures like, “no makeup!” or “just out of the shower!” ? And you’re thinking like, bro, like, I don't look like that after I get out of the shower.

Well, friends, this is for you. This is a quick tutorial on how to get the hot just out of the shower look without ever stepping into a shower.

You will need:

A spray bottle full of water.

Mascara (any kind will do, so long as it is not waterproof)

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Step 1: Apply mascara.

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Apply it very liberally, not like Hillary Clinton liberally, but like, a lot. Don’t worry about doing it well either.

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Step 2: Locate your spray bottle.

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Step 3. Squirt yourself in the face with water. Just keep spraying, spraying, spraying. Your face should be dripping. This is to make the makeup run down your face to give you that unkempt look.

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You may notice that the mascara is not running very much yet, just give it a few minutes, if it doesn’t streak your face within 3 minutes, use your hands to smudge it.

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Step 4. Spray your hair. The most important part is the front section, as that is what will be most prominent in your mirror shots.

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Spray until your hair is at a satisfactory wetness, and voila! You’re finished!

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Step 5. Take a picture in a mirror. You should always use a slightly angry face, never look yourself in the eye, always be looking in the screen of your phone or camera.

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And this is how it’s done. I would also recommend doing this in a bathroom and using a towel, unlike me. Unless you like falling in water, than yeah, definitely don’t use a towel.