Saturday, December 21, 2013

The A&E crisis of 2013.

 

Hi kids, I want to talk to you about one of the biggest crises in the 21st century.

Oh no, it’s not September 11th. Or that tsunami from 2004 in Sri Lanka. I’m not even going to confront you with AIDS statistics today. Nope, this is really bad stuff.

Brace.your.selves.

A&E suspended Phil Robertson.

AAAAAAAAAAAAH NO THE HUMANITY FIRST AMMENDMENT AAAH THANKS OBAMA

So one time Phil Robertson did an interview with GQ. Why GQ even interviewed this man is beyond me…like…I don’t know they seem like the kinda folks that just wouldn’t hang out together. Anyway, so basically the interview takes a turn toward the topic of gay marriage. And Phil tells it exactly like he sees it. And I mean exactly.

Now, this man isn’t an idiot, he started a multi-million dollar company. He knew it would cause backlash. Or at least, I would think he would…

Anyway, so A&E freaks a little bit, because “oh crap, people aren’t going to like this.” and suspends Phil from their show. And we’re shocked why…?

Now, I personally find it a little funny, because I’m just going to assume the whole family thinks fairly similarly, but that’s beside the point.

But here’s the thing, agree with Phil or not, A&E is not in the wrong. They are not violating his right to free speech. He exercised it, and experienced backlash, but not a violation of rights.

Now, if A&E was the government, that might be a different story, but since A&E is a private company, this is their right.

If I walk into work and start screaming profanities at people, am I going to be fired? Yes. Will my first amendment rights have been violated? Well, no.

So not sorry, I’m not going to change my profile picture. Or share articles from obamasucks.com or anything.

Nope, I’m just gonna watch the free market in action. Now, it is true, that we can debate whether or not this was a good business decision by A&E, considering the absurd amount of people that watch Duck Dynasty, but even if it was the dumbest decision in the history of the universe, they still are not violating rights.

And considering that I can still go to WalMart and find Duck Dynasty tshirts, dvds, blankets, cups, dancing dolls (??), and a whole lot of other stuff, I don’t really feel that they are being opressed.

Also, mostly, I just wish everyone would shut up about it. Because really, no matter what side you are on, changing your profile picture and sharing quotes isn’t going to change minds.

Really.

Also, friends, I would like to point out that Obama had nothing to do with this decision, because apparently that’s a common misconception.

A man expressed his [unpopular] opinion, he got suspended from his tv show. But here’s the thing, HE CAN STILL EXPRESS THAT OPINION all he wants. Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t think he should have too much trouble getting an interview with a media outlet.

And here’s the other thing, just because I have freedom of speech, doesn’t mean everyone everywhere has to/is going to listen to my opinion. I think Julie Andrews was/is one of the greatest performers in the history of the world all time ever. But if I email ABC and tell them this, and tell them that the world must know, they aren’t going to give me a slot on GMA to do this.

Thanks Obama, you’ve destroyed the constitution again. Or maybe it’s just that no one really cares that much about Julie Andrews anymore and letting me have a spot on GMA would be a dumb business decision that would repel viewers.

If you’re going to throw the Constitution in everyone’s faces (which I’ve got nothing against…) at least actually know what it means.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

QUICK IT’S NOVEMBER: Be Thankful!!!!!

 

November, the month in which everyone suddenly becomes increasingly thankful.

Until that one day when we are supposed to be extra thankful, and then we just shove our faces and watch football, and if we’re super thankful, we go shopping.

But we’re not really anymore thankful in November than we are in say, October. We just put on a show, because, yeah, this is ‘Merica.

Im-thankful-giving-thanks-confined-just-one-day-year

Don’t get me wrong, I love Thanksgiving, I like big meals, and all that jazz, I just hate that we pretend it’s our thankful day. And that SO LONG as we are thankful on the last Thursday in November, we’re covered for the rest of the year. Or if we’re thankful, at least according to our facebook statuses (not statii, but don’t get me started), for the whole month of November, thank DANG YOU ARE LIKE JESUS OR SOMETHING. LOOK AT ALL THAT THANKFULNESS WE GOT GOING ON UP IN HEEERE.

And there’s nothing wrong with it, or our silly little traditions, but I’m just tired of the fakeness.

I just wish we could actually really, legitimately be thankful year-round.

I just wonder, would we all be posting our ‘30 days of thankful’ if we lived in trailers? Would you be that thankful if you were living in the local mission? Would you be that thankful if you didn’t get to eat copious amount of turkey  in a few days?

And I’m not above it, I was pouting just the other day because I have to work on Thanksgiving.

Sure, I’m getting paid overtime for it, but I HAVE TO WORK ON THANKSGIVING DON’T THEY KNOW THIS IS A HOLY DAY OF AMERICA?!?!

Instead of being such a whiner, why am I not thankful that I have a job? And the car to get there? And shouldn’t I be thankful for the fact that there is actually something for me to miss out on on Thanksgiving?

And I’m not going to lie, I don’t think that shopping on Thanksgiving is one of the seven deadly sins. Sure, I wish I wasn’t one of the people working that day, and sure, I think that if you’re going to have your family and stuff in, you should probably hang out with them.

But I don’t think that shopping on Thanksgiving or Black Friday makes you into a greedy unthankful pig.

Nope, you can do that any day of the year. And if that camera you’ve been eyeing for a year goes on sale big time on Black Friday, and you’ve got the cash for it, GO GET IT. It doesn’t matter.

I’m sick of everyone talking about how we act like we are thankful on Thanksgiving and then go shopping the next day and OMG NOW YOU ARE NOT THANKFUL, YOU PIG.

And I’m not saying this to defend myself, I’ve been black friday shopping once, and I hated it, never doing it again, but just because you shop that day doesn’t make you ungrateful. Just like not shopping on Thanksgiving/black friday doesn’t make you thankful (regardless of that one article everybody is sharing on facebook, oops)

You can be greedy and selfish no matter what you do on Thanksgiving.

I guess my point is, if you’re a thankful person, you’re thankful, and if you shop on Thanksgiving, you’ll still be thankful at the end of the day.

And if you’re unthankful and don’t shop on Thanksgiving, but instead make a list of 8,000 things you are thankful for, you’ll still be unthankful at the end of the day.

So this year, instead of being thankful for 30 days, tops, let’s be thankful year round, and try to remember:

True thankfulness is not so fragile, it does not topple so easily that buying something on Black Friday completely destroys it.

 

Also, why do we eat turkey on Thanksgiving instead of eel, since that was like Squanto’s real fave?

 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

When did being good at something become a crime?

 

You know, I like grace. And I like knowing that I don’t have to –and I can’t be perfect.

But my generation + others have turned this into some game of who can’t do the worst in life but still be alright. It’s a game of who can squeeze by just doing things half-way and still be likeable.

In fact, there is one SUPER popular blog (it’s a mom-ish blog, and yes, yes, I do read mom blogs on occasion) and I honestly do not know why people like this woman so much.  Her whole blog is about basically how much she sucks at life and is the worst mom ever. AND is proud of it. It’s a whole blog  centered around how much she fails as a mom, Christian, wife, blah, and it’s cool. It’s like, “you are the worst at everything, and you’re popular, so that validates my bad-ness.” I call it the World’s Best Underachiever blog. Actually, I’ve never said that out loud, but I’ve thought it. (Shh…I don’t actually know her in real life…so if you’re reading this, it’s likely not you…)

I’m not saying I’m perfect. Not at all. I burn stuff in the oven practically every time I use it. I fail tests. I wear ugly clothes 95% of the time. I have a short temper. I don’t like to talk about ‘how I feel.’ I’m too quick to judge. I don’t say the right things. I’m impatient.

And I’m not ashamed of those things, but I’m not proud of them.

But we’ve come into this weird thing, where we’re just settling with how we are.

I’m not saying we need to scramble to  become ‘the best we can be’ and all that jazz. But what I am saying is we need to keep pushing forward and to keep working. Be happy where you’re at, but don’t get stuck there.

There’s a difference between contentment and complacency.

And let me tell you something that will blow some people’s minds.

You are not perfect.

Seriously.

You have flaws.

And so do I.

But we’re in this new-agey sort of belief that hey, it’s fine to be an absolute wreck of a person, because you know, grace.

Grace.

Grace does not mean doing whatever the heck you feel like.

Grace does not mean you are okay the way you are.

Grace does not mean not changing.

 

Grace is the fact that we can’t be perfect. It’s impossible. And that’s okay, but that does not mean that you should be complacent. It doesn’t mean you can continue doing what you want.

But this is America, and you’re perfect.

WRONG AGAIN.

But back to this blog, this woman PROUDLY boasts about how bad she is.

At cooking, at being a mother, a wife, a Christian, a friend, and it’s awesome, because grace.

No.

Grace is what we receive IN SPITE OF our imperfections. Not because of them. Grace is not having to live ashamed of things you have done. But it’s not saying that what you have done wrong is alright.

So why do people all yell about how bad they are at everything? I’m not saying we should wave flags with all of our accomplishments on them, no, if you do that, I’ll smack you.  And I’m not saying we should hide our mistakes and pretend we are perfect. That’s being fake. And I despise that too, but that’s another rant for another day.

But why are we so proud of how imperfect we are?

Why are people boasting, screaming, shouting their imperfections?

And I’m not saying it’s wrong to be bad about something and make jokes about that, no. That’d be super hypocritical of me to say that.

But what I am saying is this:

It is OKAY to be good at something.

Seriously.

And it’s okay to talk about it. And to tell people your accomplishments. And to actually embrace the fact that you do something well. And use that something to do something awesome.

And you know what else is okay?

To work to improve that skill.

You know who is/was awesome at singing/performing? Julie Andrews.  (‘was’ because she lost her singing voice from throat surgery). And seriously, she and her family knew she was talented. But they didn’t say, “that’s great Julie, you’re perfect how you are, no need to work to improve yourself. You’re perfect.” No. She took voice lessons to work to improve upon the talent she was born with.

But you know, if we’re good at something, we have to be the best, right?

And I think that’s a lot of where we mess up.

Because of insecurity.

If I claim/act like/show/am not ashamed of the fact that I am good at something…well…people will know…and if they know…they can see when I do something wrong…

SO THE SOLUTION! Act like you’re bad at everything. Because that way---it doesn’t matter! If you claim to be a terrible tuba player—and then drop your tuba in concert, it’s fine, because, eh, you never said you were any good anyway.

BUT if you share with people your love of the tuba, tell them what you’ve been working on, and ARE GOOD AT IT, and then you miss a note during your mad tuba solo, well, then people will know that you, Mrs. Perfy McPerfect IS NOT PERFECT.

Shut. Up. No. Way.

So the solution for making sure no one ever sees our mistakes ever, is to blow up all the things we are bad at. Pretend we’re not good at anything. So to hide our downfalls, we proclaim them from the rooftops.

AND PLEASE. I am not saying we should hide our mistakes. And I’m not saying that we should scream our talents.

But when did being good at something become a crime?

Being a recipient of grace means you’re not allowed to be good at something.

Really.

It’s okay to be good at something. Promise.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Low enough to hate.

 

I’ve been thinking about this one for a while, but didn’t want to say anything while all the Martin/Zimmerman stuff was going on, because this has nothing to do with that. But even if I did write what I think about that, people on both sides would hate my guts and whatever, so you know…not that I don’t want to say anything controversial, but I think that horse has been beaten to death. A thousand million times. But um, anywho, moving on.

To the people who cry ‘racism’ to everything done wrong to a minority: shut up.

To the people who say racism doesn’t exist in the US: shut  up.

You’re both wrong.

See this photo:

1150427_10201291208236255_2079110233_n

That’s probably the coolest toddler you will (or won’t) ever meet. We’ve got a lot in common, like our love for french fries.

So we like to hang out and whatever.

Oh, but if you hadn’t noticed, he’s black. And I’m white.

So the other day, him and I were just hanging out at McDonald’s (with another brother who missed the photo) being crazy, eating French fries, trying not to climb up windows, that sort of stuff.

And people. Ugh, people.

They look at him, they look at me, they look back at him, they look back at me. Pass sort of a judgmental glare and walk along. This happens all the time.

Thanks guys, next time I need a stupid opinion--I’ll know where to ask.

And no one ever says anything, because you know, people are too kind for that. Though if someone did, I have a few good answers tucked in my pocket.

But it’s written all over their faces.

You really should be careful, because people can pick up on what you’re thinking a lot more than you think.

And maybe they’re just busy judging me ‘cause I look like I’m 13 and lugging around a baby. Maybe that’s it, I don’t know. But that’d still be rude, in my opinion, so racism or not, still wrong.

And not everybody is judgmental about it, but the ones who are make sure you can see it all over their faces. And I think it’s kind of funny. You’re judging me for walking around with a black baby, which last time I checked, was a totally moral thing to do. And you’re the one passing judgments on people you know nothing about. huh.

But do you want to hear something I heard one time?

“What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A bench can support a whole family.”

You know where I heard this?

At church. At freaking church.

This was a teenager, and there were supposedly mature adults who either heard that, or are deaf. But I’m pretty sure it’s the first. And they just stood there. Are you kidding me? I whipped my head around and said, “Seriously?!” I didn’t say anything else because I was too angry—and whatever came out of my mouth was not going to be sweet, so I shut up. But I wish I hadn’t. I wish I would have stood up, told this person off, and walked out of that building. I would have been just as well off that way, considering I spent the rest of church thinking about how stupid I thought this person was. And everyone else, all these mature adults, just stood around.  And before anyone tells me I shouldn’t be pointing people out, well I don’t even remember who exactly was there (maybe anger causes memory loss), but I do know it was 4-6 “men.”

“Well you’re a bit bitter, Bekah.” Yes. Yes, I am. Should I be? Probably not. But when people who are supposedly good Christian church people sit by in silence while people say this crap…yep, yeah, that does make me angry.

And then, here’s one, I heard this from someone at my house…which is even classier, considering two black people live here.

This is supposed to be a joke, apparently.

“What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? An avalanche. What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? A coal mine. What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A jailbreak.”

Ah, yes, but this time I could not hold my tongue. I yelled at this kid, told him to shut up, get out of my house, and to quit being stupid. Among other things, which I don’t remember entirely. I went to my room to semi-calm down/cry. It wasn’t exactly the most tactful thing I’ve ever done (tact has never really been my strong point), but I don’t really regret it. My friend Emily says it’s the angriest she’s ever seen me. It’s actually probably the angriest I’ve ever been. It’s one thing to say stupid stuff like that, it’s another to say it in the home of the people you are demeaning.

And I’m sorry that your self esteem is low enough that you have to put down an entire race. That must be an unpleasant way to live.

But I don’t think that’s the way to stop racism. Actually, I don’t know how. Because on one side, you get to the point of crying ‘racist’ at everything, and that’s wrong in and of itself. And on the other side, just ignoring it entirely. And it goes every direction. There are racist whites, blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Indians, whatever. And it’s not right for anybody.

But I do know this, a lot of it starts with kids parents. No kid is born and thinks, gee, I’m going to hate this group of people because their eyes are slanted. That’s ridiculous. No, kids are taught. And I have read stuff where people claim to be racists because of a bad thing this person of this race did to them one time.

Seriously?

So if I get robbed by a guy with blue eyes, I should hate all blue-eyed people.

Good thinking.

I could ramble on all day about what I think is or isn’t the end-all fix everything answer, but I don’t know. I really don’t.

What I  do know though, is that whether or not you can change anyone else, you can start with yourself.

And I do know that hating people who seem to be racists does nothing. I don’t think we can just waltz up to people and scream “LOOOVE EVERYBODY, YOU IDIOT!” No, that won’t work. And I don’t know what will, I don’t, and I don’t think there is an easy answer.

I don’t know, I really don’t, but I do know that everyone, on both ends of the racism spectrum, myself included, need to take the advice of basically the coolest civil rights activist, ever.

“Let no man pull you low enough to hate him.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.