Sunday, September 25, 2011

5 Things We Can Learn From Babies.


After being around a baby way more than I have been since I was 6, I have decided something.

More “mature” humans could learn a whole lot from babies.

5. Only eat things you like. Have you ever seen a baby eat something it hated and not spit it out or barf? Or at least not eat it again (at that time, since they like don’t have sense enough to remember “oh I hated that” and not eat it)? I’m not suggesting you barf up everything you try that you don’t like, I’m just saying, just because raisin bran might have less fat/sugar/whatever than a Poptart, doesn’t mean you should eat it. IMG_5556

(he likes whales)

4. Make dumb faces. Quit being so serious, it’s creepy. Go laugh at something.


3. Say what you think. Even though they can’t really talk, babies communicate how they feel/what they like or dislike. Why does this stop? I think it’s because at some point, there is like this “OH NO” moment and you realize “If I say something about anything that isn’t completely neutral, someone could disagree with me or like judge me or something.” Lame.

2. Be yourself. Have you ever seen a baby try to be like someone else? “Oh my goodness. Onesies are no longer hip. What ever shall I do? I KNOW! I will wear exactly what the Olson twins wore on Full House. They were so cool then! If I act like them I will be so hip.” False. That doesn’t happen.


1. Don’t pretend. Babies don’t pretend to be happy when they’re not. They’re not afraid to show when they’re upset. “Oh my sweet baby, how are you this fine day?” “Awful.”

Of course, I’m not suggesting you should model your entire life after the lives of babies. I never want to see anyone over the age of 2 in a onesie. Of course, rompers are considered pretty trendy now. (ew)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

It’s really not that hard.




I’m a huge fan of it. Not like commas, apostrophes, hyphens, etc. Actually, I like when that’s used correctly too…but,

when you incorrectly use:

  • they’re/there/their
  • your/you’re
  • affect/effect
  • through/throw (or threw)
  • too/to/two
  • it’s/it
  • loose/lose
  • know/now
  • accept/except
  • than/then
  • are/our

I just. I..I..yeah. I can’t stand it.

For real, like when your facebook status is,

“I went too sea a base ball game today. the guy through me a ball and I was like your so great! I bought some ducks to. Their wonderful accept four the constant quacks”

I barf on the laptop.

I know it’s super lame that this bugs me, but c’mon people.

It’s not that difficult.

I’m not claiming that I never make a they’re/there/their mistake accidentally, but some’s like..every.single.time.


Also (sort of goes with this):


Everyone is now totally going to judge me if I ever misuse a homophone.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011



I went there, yes I did.

Remember this post, ?

Yeah. Definitely. Totally.


This trip was the first time I ever had to be on a plane for more than 5ish hours.

13 hours there.

17 hours back.


I hate flying. Oh so much.

I survived though, so it’s all good.


I also got to change an explosive diaper for the first time ever.

I almost threw up. For real.

I’ll stick to normal diapeys from now on.



Out the bathroom.


and again.





First day---look at my dark dead-like eyes. Thank you Boeing 777.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

I Hate My Sister and Other Lessons I Learned From Facebook.


*****<3<3****()|()*******I just adore my mom so much! She is the bomb diggity. She is awesomer than Arby’s Sauce! If your mom rocks your socks off, repost this! If you don’t we all know that you’d rather eat Tacos than spend time with your mother *******<3*****SQUIRRELS!*****

:) :) :) :) It’s woodsman week! Our burley, hunting men are so great and help bring groundhog meat to our table (even if it is roadkill occasionally)! I would be lost without my woodsman! He reminds me of Daniel Boone. If you love your woodsmen as much as I love mine, repost this status while doing a duck call. What better way to thank your man? (if you don’t repost, you must be a veagan) :) :) :) :) :) :)

+=+=+=+=!!!$$$$+=+=+=+=+=+=iS uR dOtTeR tHa BeSt DoTtA eVa!?! iF u L<3v yEr DoTtEr RePoSt ThIs wE wAnT tO fIlL FB wItH dOtTa StAtii (read my rant about that word below) <3 uR D0tTeR! +=+=+=+=+=+=!!!$$$$+=+=+=+=+=+=

*^*^*^*^*I SUPPORT DISHWASHERS*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*Do you know someone who works hard each day washing dishes in the back of a resturant? I DO! I SUPPORT THAT DISHWASHER! Each day, they risk geting soap on theyre clothing. Please repost this in honor of your hardworking dishwashers. Did you know 97% are too ashamed to repost this? Be the 3% who isn’t. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

0000####00000####000---I <3 my sista. She is my life! Without my sista I would just be so sad. If my sista eva ran away I wud just through my self in a ditch and lie in the mud. If you repost this your sista will never run away. If you don’t, It means You hate your sista and you want to submerge your head in a buckett of wet cat food 00000###000###000

I had fun just now.
p.s. any misspellings up there are intentional, just making that clear.

Anyways, I think those statuses are so stupid.

I mean seriously. Reposting something someone else wrote about how much you love a certain person doesn’t actually mean anything.

Let’s say my mother posted the one I wrote about “dottas.” I wouldn’t look at that and be like, “oh man, my mom is the best, she loves me so much.” I really, honestly wouldn’t think anything of it.

Maybe that’s just me, but I think if you really want to tell someone how much you love them (and you just really feel the need to do it on facebook), private message the person. I think that would be a lot more meaningful than a reposted status with a million asterisks.

And the “I support ______” reposts…write something yourself. Or even better,get off your butt and do something about it, if you really are in that 3% (which seriously has to be a made up number, since they all say 97% won’t repost and 3% will).
Writing “I’m __ weeks and craving ___” does not help raise breast cancer awareness. If you want to play that little game, fine, but don’t do it believing you're making any difference.

Maybe this is just me being cynical, maybe I am the only one who has ever thought this, and maybe it does actually make a difference. I don’t know.

Just my thoughts.

AND! onto the whole statuses vs statii.



noun, often attributive \ˈstā-təs, ˈsta-\
plural sta·tus·es

It’s statuses, so if you’re one of those people who says statii, I encourage you to stop.

p.s. don’t be offended if you’re a groundhog hunting woodsman, I’ve never tasted groundhog, it might actually be good.