I don't know why, but the modesty issue is really super popular this year.
And I won't pretend to know the answer to all the questions, even though I think I do sometimes.
But this is less about modesty and more about self-worth.
When I walk into Wal-mart, when I go to the park, when I walk downtown, when I scroll down my facebook feed, I am embarrassed. And sad.
Not because of immodesty, really. But because everyone is failing to see their value, their worth.
People wear certain things, do certain things, just to get noticed. To be respected, to be validated.
Let me tell you this: you don't need to be validated by people. You're cool how you are, seriously.
If having everything falling out of everywhere is really the only way to get people to like you, do you really even want those people liking you?
And I'm sorry if you do, because you don't need that.
If no one ever again tells you that you are pretty, if you never receive another compliment, that doesn't decrease your worth.
If you dress like a floozy and flirt with every person, that doesn't decrease your worth. But it sure as anything doesn't increase it.
Someone's failure to see the value of you, does NOT decrease your value.
And really, you're just as pretty when you're wearing a three-sizes-too-big t-shirt and jeans as when you are wearing a skin tight, low cut, barely-covers-your-butt dress.
Actually I'll go ahead and make a wild guess that people actually pay more attention to you as a person, your character, your interests, your passions, your convictions when you’re wearing the t-shirt and jeans.
And here's another thing. Beauty isn't the end all thing.
If you are the physically prettiest person in the world, but do absolutely nothing with your life, of what value is that?
If everybody thinks your hot, but no one could name one thing you stand for or believe, of what value is that?
That's the thing, if you are the ugliest person on earth, but you take your life, and you do something that matters, you make a difference, that is beautiful.
Similarly, If you're People magazine's "Sexiest Person Alive"4 years running, but you spend your life being narcissistic and self centered, doing nothing of eternal value, that is ugly.
So here’s a question:
If for the rest of your life you were forced to wear a frumpy long-sleeved dress that was 3 sizes too big, what would change? Would your identity be lost? Or would you think, “dang. this is kind of ugly.” maybe pout for a day or so, and then get on with your life?
You know who was a really unattractive person?
She didn’t just say, “Well, shoot, if only I was 6’1” and had sandy blonde hair.”
But what she did, her actions, her life, is a beautiful story. She was a beautiful woman.
And there’s nothing wrong with being pretty, dressing nice, don’t get me wrong.
But don’t let your appearance alone take the place of who you are, because you are so much more.
And let’s be real, ‘pretty’ is such a socially defined thing. Only some lucky people are born into society’s definition of pretty, and the rest of us are supposed to work towards it. Dye our hair, lose weight, gain weight, wear these clothes, those shoes. And then heaven forbid, a few years from now ‘pretty’ will be a totally different thing, and you’ll have to work to get there.
It’s like a full-time job.
And I hope everybody gets laid off.