Saturday, December 1, 2012

Do they know it’s Christmas time?

You know that song? The one we feel all good inside while shouting “FEEEEEEED THE WOOUUOORULLD.” It’s incredibly off if you listen to the words. I’m not saying it was a bad cause, raising $14 million for a famine in Ethiopia? Go for it. Awesome. Just write the song better next time.

Since this was supposedly written about Ethiopia, it will be my “country of reference.”

Let’s break it down.

It's Christmas time,
there's no need to be afraid.
At Christmas time
we let in light and banish shade

I am no poet,  and I really kind of hate metaphors and similes, so don’t judge me if I get this wrong. We let in light and banish shade? More like we pretend everything is fine and dandy everywhere and close our eyes to stuff we don’t want to see. Either way.

And in our world of plenty
we can spread a smile of Joy

Okay, sure we can use our resources to help others.

Throw your arms around the world
at Christmas time.

Only at Christmas? “I LOVE YOU WORLD!…okay, Christmas is over.”

But say a prayer,
Pray for the other ones.

Good thinking, I have no issue with that.

At Christmas time it's hard
but when you're having fun...
There's a world outside your window
and it's a world of dread and fear

Hardships. Not dread and fear. I’m sure during the famine it was worse, but the whole world outside your window is not full of dread and doom. That’s a bit of an egocentric point of view, don’tcha thing?


Where the only water flowing is
the bitter sting of tears

Oh really?

Where the Christmas bells that are ringing
are the clanging chimes of Doom sure this is another metaphor, geez, I’m bad at those.

Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you.

Arguably the stupidest line in the whole song. “Dear God, I would just like to say thanks. I am so glad that little girl is starving and not me. Good thing that baby died and not me.” Erg.

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time

Actually, it does snow in Morocco, Lesotho, and South Africa. During a particularly cold spell it snowed in Algeria and Tunisia. Good try though.

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life.

Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow



Actually a lake, not a river, but you know, large body of water.


Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Actually Christmas is celebrated on January 7th in Ethiopia. Egocentrism once again.

Here's to you...
Raise a glass for everyone

Yes, drinking has been proven to be an effective combatant in fighting hunger in third world countries.

Here's to them
Underneath that burning sun

See, you’re just really stuck on this whole Africa is a big desert country thing. (also, not a country, a continent, but that’s another rant for another day) In case you still aren’t convinced on water in Africa:

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Seriously…January 7.

Feed the world...
Feed the world...
Feed the world,

Good thought, hard to do in reality.

Let them know it's Christmas time again.
Feed the world,
Let them know it's Christmas time again.
(Repeat several times and fade)

This song is just…it’s not a bad song, I guess, but it really shows how uneducated people are. Poverty does not equal a life of doom and despair. Africa is not a desert. And you’d think if you were writing a song you could do a quick google search and find out…oh wait…there is water in Africa…

and yes, I realize it was written because of a drought that caused a famine, but don’t tell me, “nothing ever grows. no rain or rivers flow” because obviously, ever, means like…ever.

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